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So Much Junk
2004-05-23, 11:31 p.m.

I’ve started to get serious about moving, and I’m trying to reduce the sheer amount of crap that I have in my one-bedroom apartment. I spent the weekend getting everything off the floors so that the carpet cleaners can get everything not covered by furniture when they show up on Monday morning. While I was on my cleaning spree, I filled several bags and boxes with clothes and books to take to the Goodwill store in my neighborhood, and I loaded up the trunk of my car at least three times with non-recyclable trash. Some of the treasures I found include:

• all of the English composition papers from my first semester of college,

• all of my class notes from six or seven semesters of college,

• old textbooks that the college bookstores didn’t want to buy back six years ago,

• photos of people I no longer can identify,

• a LOT of Rubbermaid boxes of various sizes (and none of them match each other) filled with assorted crap, such as nail polish that I bought for my senior prom and other horrible colors from the days before I discovered OPI, or a million mismatched hair clips, or beauty product samples that are at least three years old,

• several hundred plastic hangers that are now empty since I took so much stuff to Goodwill,

• a box filled with light bulbs that wouldn’t work in any of my light fixtures or lamps,

• a box filled with cleaning supplies that I probably borrowed from the housekeeping closet in college,

• four flip-flops from four different pairs – and there’s no sign of the other shoes anywhere,

• an embarrassing list of CDs,

• a shoebox full of mismatched socks,

• the sparkly gold shoes (pointed toe with a kitten heel, so they’re almost trendy now) I wore to all of the formals I went to in high school – I wore a black dress each time and bought one pair of shoes to wear for several dances,

• a broken vase,

• disposable contact lenses from three or four prescriptions ago,

• a train case filled with half-used makeup,

• crayons, colored pencils, and markers in an art-supply box,

• report cards,

• broken electronic devices, such as cordless telephones, alarm clocks, paper shredders, and a broken microwave (in my defense, I did not know how to dispose of broken appliances until today),

• shot glasses from places I have never been and I don’t collect them, so I have no idea where they came from,

• a moldy glue stick, and so on.

I’ve sold almost all of my CD’s on Amazon.com’s used marketplace, and I gave a box of good books to the library and a box of books that suck to Goodwill. During the next few weeks, I plan to start attacking my back closet, which is overflowing with crap and empty boxes and out-of-season clothes, and start packing up stuff like Christmas ornaments that I know will be unpacked in a new home. I need to buy labels, Sharpies, trash bags, boxes, and bubble wrap. I need to stop obsessing about this because I don’t have a new job yet.

So, to reward myself for doing such a good job of cleaning and also to prepare for my trip to Oklahoma, I went shopping and acquired more stuff. Actually, I was in dire need of casual clothes, so I bought a denim skirt, some perfect fit stretch v-neck tees, a pair of pinstripe pants, a khaki skirt that meets the dress code requirements at work, a ballet-neck pink top, and the most comfortable boxer shorts (my year-round sleepwear of choice) I’ve ever owned for a grand total of less than $100. I am quite pleased with my bargain-shopping and everything I bought is classic and flattering and will work throughout the summer while I’m losing weight. Yay!

Also, Shrek 2 was awesome. And my dinner party was fun and the food was superb, and let me just say that even though I am an aspiring foodie and do not yet own a house where I can suitably entertain, I am on my way to learning a lot of important lessons about being a good hostess and an incredible cook.